Today… I struggled, but I survived
Once the pressure of the work day subsided
And I could be completely present with you
My cup overflowed with fulfillment
Your laughter and tiny voice
The way you needed a tight hug as much as I did today
Maybe you could sense my sadness
Even through my mask and silly faces
I hope not, but I feel that you did
And I apologize for that
I’ll try harder tomorrow
Because I can’t imagine never holding you again
Or missing all your big moments
Dance parties and pool days
Sharing string cheeses and nature walks
Reading time and seeing you learn
Hearing you sing and watching you run so freely
Free of anxieties
Free of fear
Free of sadness
And I know I’m not perfect
And I’m broken and a bit of hot mess
But goddamn it, I love you
And I’ll swallow the pain as much as I need
I’ll make sure your shine never dulls
And that you can keep the wonder alive
I’ll always dance with you in the rain
And I’ll listen intently when you express those big feelings
I hope you never need to find yourself in adulthood
Because you’ve always been free to be
That’s the least I can give you
Because I don’t think you’ll ever understand how much
You’ve really saved me.
Redbekah 
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