Her only wish
Is to be carried away
In a riptide of whiskey
Getting sick on a Friday with a weekend filled with plans
A migraine the morning of a job interview
Starting your period during a dick appointment
A huge, grotesque pimple before a first date
Really, really, really terrible timing?
Divine intervention?
Perfectly executed fate?
We’ll never know
Last night when I closed my eyes
I became so frustrated with the little colorful squiggles
Because they just would not cease their dance party
I tried to reason with them,
“Please, it’s so late, funny little worms. Let’s rest”
I rolled on to my back in hopes that would stop them
But they continued to just wiggle and dance the night away
I pleaded again,
“Squiggles, can we party another time, please? I’m just so tired”
They just didn’t want to hear me
So I opened my eyes as widely as I could
That would have to stop them
That did not
They taunted me with their gyrating
I rubbed my eyes as hard as I could
And I whispered to myself…
“That was not a microdose.”
Your absence has gone through me
Like the thread of an elaborate tapestry
Your colors intertwined within every stitch
My head has always been in the clouds
I’ve never been grounded on this earth
I’m merely floating along through this life
The destination isn’t ever really clear
But here I am
Still drifting through the universe’s journey for me
Stopping to smell the flowers
Talking to the birds, the squirrels, whatever creatures I see
Daydreaming every chance I get
Jotting down my thoughts when I can
Is this what blissful peace feels like
Maybe I finally am free
Get a real job, they say
No, thank you, I reply
For don’t you see, I’m learning to be content and thrive
Without conforming to your 9-5 mentality
My happiness is the sunshine on a Tuesday
Floating topless in a spring
My freeform writing heals my soul
As I hum along with the birds and cicadas in the evening
My love making creates legacies
Leisurely little rendezvous whenever I please
My words and my thoughts are actually an artform
My mind was never meant to be locked in a cage
I won’t go back to working for the man
For he’s never cared about me
Everyone has them
From the disgusting types of media they consume just to get themselves off
To those teenaged things you’d be so ashamed of if you had ever been caught
Some can be so innocent and meek
Like the little white lie to your supervisor to get out of a task
Or the insincere compliment in hopes to clap some cheeks
To the big life changing, grim ones
Like a hidden addiction, a hush-hush abortion or the mistress down the street
And as much as I love some steaming hot tea
Mine is definitely my favorite
I hold it so near and dear to me
Because I know one day it won’t always be just a dirty little secret
One day, it will all make sense to everyone around me
My beautiful son
The world can be so ugly
You will sadly learn one day
I won’t be able to shield you forever
Like I wish I could
But you will always have a warm, safe place
In my arms, in my home, close to me
You never ever have to worry
About the effects of my storm
Or the demons that live within me
Because this new tree of life
I’ve grown so delicately for us
Bares a different type of fruit
One with compassion and empathy
And the roots of this tree
Come without the generational curses
Of our ancestors before me
You are so precious and so powerful, little one
Stay safely under my branches
For as long as you need
And when the day comes
I will sob proudly
As you spread your wings
For you are my greatest achievement
My absolutely favorite
And most important thing
Do the kind thing out of love
Not for love
Do the right thing because you know it is
Not for praise
Share your compassion because they deserve it
Not because you expect it in return
How I wish you’d let me in
I could be a rock for you
A supportive cheerleader, motivator, and muse
Always in your corner to support you
Let me inspire you, like you already do
I’ll give you the world and the moon too
All your secrets will be safe with me
Your fears, your goals and your insecurities
I’ll protect them like a precious gem
If you’d only just let me in
To buy a houseboat and run away with my plants and books and dogs and child. Find a dock near the swamp somewhere with the gators, bats, and fish. Venture down every river, lake, gulf, spring, and stream possible. Swim every day and sunbath often and keep learning from nature. Listening to the frogs and the cicadas and Fleetwood Mac and Tom Petty on repeat. To become a Bog Witch, feral yet still somehow sexy and hexing any unwanted visitors.
I said I’d never let a boy
Tell me what to do again
Yet here I am,
Living with a three foot tall tyrant
With constant non-stop demands
Dictating every choice I make
Can’t even leave the house without him
And every delicious snack I have
Becomes another one for him to take
Kissing boo-boos on command
Playing with trucks and dinosaurs
Always having to hold his hand
He takes so much of my time and money
And I’m always losing sleep
Only for him will I do these things
Because without my little, needy perfect child
My life would not ever be complete
Relationships, boundaries and values
Are the themes of this magical eclipse
Find your inner harmony
And use the balance of Libra
To find your peace
Close old chapters
Nuture important relationships
Be open to the fill the inspiration
Ground into the cosmic energy
And accept fates path for you
To the girl inside me
That stood strong
Even on the days
When the fight felt too much
To the girl inside me
That kept the hope alive
Believing there is still beauty
Hidden in this world
Beyond the pain and darkness
To the girl inside me
That keeps pushing along
When all seems lost
And it’s so lonely and dismal
To the girl inside me
That’s cried a billion tears
And screamed so loudly
Til her voice was gone
She still chose life
When the ledge was there
And a jump would have been easy
Thank you
I owe it all to her
To continue this journey
Fill it with happiness
Give her the grace and peace
She so deserves
To the strongest little girl
You are worthy
And I will make this life
Feel nothing but beautiful
One day again
My heart aches
For a love that never existed
Only in my dreams
A fairy tale facade
Created by my own imagination
How difficult it is
To live without the love
I desire most
What I’d give
To have your heart on a string
But alas,
I’ll love you the way a bird is meant to be
Free
Free to fly
Free to return
Free to adventure
Free to learn
And I’ll hold my breath and hope
That one day
You’ll fly back to me
Blessed Ostara
Nature has awoken from the winter’s sleep
The perfect circle of nature’s cycle continues
This phase brings forth life and renewal
May this season bring blessings of peace
May you be surrounded by love
May you grow beyond measure
If the trees and flowers can start brand new
Then so can you
Where the twigs carry no leaves
And the rodents and pests run free
It’s quietly hidden beneath the trees
That offer no shade for they’re also bare
Where the plants grow zero fruits
And the roots all diseased
This garden needs love
A little TLC
But who has the energy
To stay on their knees
And prune and pull and care for this place
Just leave it be
Raise your glass of green beer
And cheers the people who are most dear
Indulge in your bangers and mash
And save the leftover corned beef for hash
May the year bring blessings and peace
And may all your finances increase!
If it ain’t like this Beethoven banger
With crazy accented notes and dynamic changes
Fueled by a super infatuation kinda shit
(All while hearing impaired)
I don’t want it
And a witch with pagan ideologies
Nature over organized religion always
St. Patrick can actually fuck all the way off
For those ‘snakes’ he drove out of Ireland
Were the Pagans of the region
And this is yet another sad story of religious indoctrination
Also, St Patrick wore blue, not green
However, when the immigrants brought this celebration to America
Much of the origin was lost, and just over time, in general
And thus the day drinking binge festival was born
I would be a liar if I said I didn’t throughly enjoy this ‘holiday’
There’s something about everyone wearing all green
Indulging in green beers and corned beef
The celtic music and Irish pub songs filling the air
And a general unity of the lushes and party people
So pour another one, and lift each other up
Everyone is Irish on this day
Slainté
With the sunshine kissing your skin
Let your cares float away
And bury your worries deep in the sand
Let the waves crash into you
And let the salt water heal you
Allow the cannabis to calm your mind
Exhale every stress
Inhale aspirations and desires
Trust in the universe
And it’s divine timing
Repeat after me:
What will be, will be
And what’s meant for me
Will come to me
I’m not a fan of needles
But I live for the thrill
And I appreciate the art
A permanent piece
To decorate myself with
Each with its own meaning
And it takes a lot to trust someone
To poke ink into your flesh
Just to draw on your body
There’s no room for error
Or you’re doomed with that mistake forever
Tattoo Dude is one of my favorites
He does giant murals all over Orlando
His art is easy to recognize
Because he has a certain funky style
I don’t think he loves my designs
Because they’re not bright and colorful
Like he prefers to draw
I like simple, black and white
A more classic look
Lots of lines and geometric shapes
But I tip him well
And I know he always nails it
We also have nice chats
Deep conversations at times
His lost wife a few years back
A tragic story really
A heart failure that no one saw coming
She was still so young
She’s left him behind with their daughter
My heart breaks for them
But how amazing of him
To continue to press on
And to have created a legacy of art
That lives throughout the City Beautiful
Let it go, they say
Go where, I ask
There is no place on this earth
Big enough or deserving
Of all of this pain
So I box it up nicely
And send it out into space
I envision a small, desolate planet
Covered in dirt and space dust
Where there are tiny aliens
Cute ones with long antennas
And skin that reflects the stars
They receive my boxes
And they organize them by trauma
Then they destroy them all
Knowing how harmful the negativity could be
To return to their world
Let it go, they say
I’m fucking trying, I respond